well isn't that special

so one of the things i have been thinking about lately is excellence.

because i know a lot of people who are really successful, really fantastically good at what they do. true experts, if you will. i count some of my closest friends and family members in this category.

i myself, however, am not one of these people.

now, now, wait just a second, before you jump up and start contradicting me, hear me out.

i am a pretty smart person. i know a lot about a lot of things. i’m good at a lot of things. pretty much, if there is something i want to do, i can do it. i can speak french and climb mountains and plink out a couple of songs on the piano, and i’ve trained a dog and can make a pretty tasty chocolate cake, i’m relatively sporty and relatively artistic, and so on. i am not trying to make myself look good here, by the way. i’m just saying, i’m relatively good at a lot of things. i am not, however, great. at anything. which is interesting.

i really think there must be two different kinds of people

(insert hilarious joke here: there are 10 kinds of people in the world. those who understand binary, and those who don’t)

(pause for raucous laughter to die down)

back to the two kinds of people.

there are the greats. the famous ones- painters and actors and musicians and doctors and leaders etc. and the not-so-famous ones- my friend the cardiologist, my father the theologian, my mother the literary genius, my relatives the business people, etc. people who really excel in what they do. maybe they have a couple of these amazing gifts, these great strengths. but maybe there are also some things they aren’t that great at. like they can’t bake a cake, or throw a ball, or figure out long division. (although, some of these people can actually do everything well, which is messing up my theory, and irritates me. but back to my point). so these people, they have great skills, but maybe only in limited arenas.

then the others of us. the oks. the goods. we are mediocre at everything. there’s nothing we can’t do, and nothing we can do supremely well. people don’t ask our advice on anything, and don’t expect us to have answers (which is good, because my answer generally is, i’m really not sure, and no, honestly, i don’t have an opinion about that).

i’m trying to decide how i feel about this.

because, i never really felt like i had a calling, i mean career-wise. i just know that i like to help people, and so i gravitated to the social service field. and i don’t really have any hobbies, anything that i pursue relentlessly. i like to do a little gardening, a little exercising, a lot of reading, and whatever have you… but i certainly don’t feel like there is some skill i want to be honing. i just like to do a little bit of a lot of things and have fun with it, and whatnot.

so i have some (ok, a lot of) jealousy of these people who are so clearly gifted in one way or another. like suomies. it is so obvious that he is supposed to be a doctor. he’s perfect for it. it’s perfect for him. he really obviously has the combination of skills and abilities that are making him successful. and i kind of think, so what am I here for? because if you know me, you know that there isn’t anything particularly special about me. i’m a nice person, that’s not my point, i just mean, people don’t say, wow that saara she sure is an amazing____, or, she’s so great at ______.

anyway i think i am ok with this, because i like who i am, and i like the things that i do, and the things that i can do, and i guess i am just wondering, do i have to do anything about this? is it ok to be the proverbial jack of all trades, master of none? or am i supposed to find (or invent?) my specialty?